Happy Thankstoberfestoween!!!

The weather out here in California finally broke! It's almost 20 degrees cooler than it was two days ago, and breezy just like I wanted. It's a good thing too since I have a lot of fall things to do this weekend for the upcoming holiday. I had an epiphany this week concerning the holidays, and in fact that's what I want to write about today. But let me back up a minute and start from the beginning.
First all I don't feel like there are enough of them. Holidays I mean. There are 365 days in the year and what, like 10 holidays? Doesn't that seem wrong to anyone else? And then they are not evenly distributed, at least not the good ones. It's like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, bam, bam, BAM! And then it's SNORE through Valentines Day (lame) and Easter (also lame)...all the way till...Labor Day? And that's mostly an excuse not to go into work and to eat hot dogs. And finally there is the problem that the few holidays there are often don't fall on dates that are conducive to the schedule of my busy, spread all over the place, family.
I thought to myself there really should be more holidays, and I specifically wish there was one that fell on October 20th. (That is when most of my immediate family will be in town for a couple days.) And then it hit me! ALL holidays were originally made up by someone right? And all it took was for everyone else to go along with it. So why can't I make up some of my own holidays?!? Then all I have to do is a.) convince everyone I'm not crazy, and b.) get them to participate. Simple! And why can't I make the date of my first holiday October 20th?! I tell you I was so excited I almost tried to jump in the air and click my heels together just like they do in cartoons when something really exciting happens! This may literally be the best idea I've EVER had!
And that's the story of how I invented Thankstoberfestoween. It's the best of the Autumn holidays all rolled into one, and it just so happens to fall on October 20th this year. Excellent timing!
I know what your thinking. And you're right, it's not totally original, but I'm new at this, and since this is my first time inventing a holiday, I believe I should be cut a little creative slack;)
So how exactly does one celebrate Thankstoberfestoween you may ask? Well, the main festivities revolve around a large meal in the middle of the day utilizing the bounty of the Autumn harvest, and ends with a pub crawl downtown to sample seasonal brews. Activities may or may not include fall-themed pumpkin carving and pumpkin seed roasting, beer pong with candy corns instead of balls, and large quantities of micro-brewed beer. There is only one long standing "tradition" that anyone really needs to know about (that goes way back to Tuesday when I invented it) and that is you must wear a turkey hat to the Thankstoberfestoween dinner table,or you may not participate in the meal. *Gasp! Oh no!* But it's true, and 100% enforced. It could be a hat in the shape of a turkey, a hat with a picture of a turkey on it, a hat made out of turkey feathers, a budget friendly turkey cap made out of paper bags and pipe cleaners, a fedor with a turkey on it holding a little sign protesting the eating turkey, or any combination of the above. Decorations for the holiday are a combination of all things Autumn, including but not limited to: pumpkins, spooky bats, rats, cats, hay bales, scare crows, brightly colored leaves, harvest squashes, whatever! Kind of like the clearance bin at the store once the Christmas stuff gets put out. Super fun!

This is my first holiday, but you can rest assured there will be many more now that I've discovered my hidden calling in life. I'm giving serious thought to the idea of un-birthdays (also not original,but maybe I can think of an original way to celebrate it!). I think everyone should have one in addition to their regular birthday. Celebrating our friends and family and showering them with nice cards and well wishes shouldn't only happen once a year. It should AT LEAST occur bi-annually.
And I need a holiday for mid January/ early February, since there is such void there. If you have any ideas pass them my way. Or better yet, make up your own!

Hope you all have a great Thankstoberfestoween this year!!!

The L-Train. I wanna ride!

So I just watched this incredible video of a 5 course gourmet meal that was served on the L-train of the New York subway system! Each course was brought onto the train at different stops, and all the food was strategically prepared ahead of time. It's totally the coolest thing I've seen on the internet in a while. Check it out! Get the full story and video HERE.

A Boat Ride Down Memory Lane

I was reminded of a childhood memory as I was looking out the window a while ago. It must be the rain that brought it on. I  quite suddenly remembered that when I was little, and it was pouring outside, I would pretend that my room (or our house) was a boat. I can't remember the last time I "pretended" anything, and it was weird to remember the feeling of doing it so vividly. Maybe it's like riding a bike, once you learn you never really forget?
Being raised in a Christian house, I would imagine the rain as the beginning of a flood, and my room as my own little ark. Similar to the one Noah had, but you know....smaller. I'd designate one corner of my room as the galley and stock up on dry cereal, or whatever else I could get my hands on, another spot would be my sleeping quarters, and another area for my animals (mostly stuffed I believe, although there may have been a real cat (unhappily) involved at times). I would corral the animals in with pillows if they were stuffed, and flipped over laundry baskets if they were real. I'd make sure everything was organized, survey my handiwork with a great amount of satisfaction, and then stare out the window and feel totally safe and happy in my ark as I imagined the rain water rising up past the windows and launching our house off it's foundation and floating away on the crest of huge waves.
( Side note: I guess I always imagined the whole house as the ark. My reasoning was otherwise Mom would drown while she was cooking dinner, or Dad would be washed away while making phone calls in his office, and even though I didn't care for him much, I supposed I'd feel pretty horrible if my little brother were somehow to be lost in the deluge. But since I wasn't allowed to make a mess everywhere, I usually kept my game, and my imaginings in my room.)
This all must have been when I was pretty young, before I had developed any real sense of reason, before I had a fully developed ability to think things through. Because when I was reminiscing about it earlier I concluded that now I'd probably choose drowning over being stuck in a boat with two of every living thing on the earth, especially the ones that fall under the "creeping" category. Just thinking about being in the same space with wolf spiders and cockroaches (under overturned laundry basket or no) totally creeps me out.
But back then, every living thing didn't (as far as I was concerned) involve insects of any kind, or bears, or wolverines, or alligators, or bunnies with red eyes, or anything else scary. There were only kittys, and giraffes, so it was cool. But at the same time the fact that  my make believe had to contain provisions for my family, shows the beginning of my ability to think critically. How my general lack of reason could coexist so peacefully with the few rational thoughts I had and make total sense to me, will alas, forever remain a mystery. But it made sense then.
Anyway, this is sort of a random trip down memory lane, but one I enjoyed embarking upon this afternoon. I think I miss the fact that I don't pretend anymore. I had sort of forgotten about it, but in the same way certain smells, or special songs, bring the past screaming into the present, I can suddenly recall with such clarity how much FUN it was. Now days I am pretty stoked to stay home and do laundry when it's raining, but when I was little I had real adventures. In fact, now that I think about it, they were probably the greatest adventures of my life.
Hmmm....OK, here's what I'm gonna do. I am going to spend the rest of the afternoon pretending that I am folding laundry on my houseboat....NO! wait....my yacht. Yesss...My sweet yacht that has a fireplace! And I am going to imagine the rain turning into a flood and my little apartment floating away on some adventure, maybe to the Amazon, with me safe and warm inside. It can't be that hard to do, after all I did it when I was 7 right?
Well, I've got to go. It's time to raise the planks (whatever that means) and cast off. Wish me luck!

Of Wolves and Men: An Idea

I just read an article about the controversy surrounding the wolves that live in the West. It appears they were on the endangered species list, then off it, and are now back on again. The reason their "endangered" prefix has been re-instituted is because ranchers are killing them off again, the same as they did at the beginning of the 20th century. And they are doing it for the same reason. The wolves prey upon their livestock.
The article went on to say that wolf populations in the Great Lakes area are faring much better, and that the many reasons range from an overpopulation of white tail deer to more tolerant "educated" city folk who think saving wolves is cool.
So what it boils down to is that in the West the ranchers don't like wolves because they eat their livestock. Other than that I don't think they have a problem with wolves just roaming around.
So here is my ingenious (or just regular genius) idea.Find an inexpensive way to tag the cows (or maybe just the leader of the herd) with a device that emits a high frequency whistle that would frighten the wolves away but not be perceptible to the cows! 
Dogs hear in the range of 64-4500 Hz, cows hear between 23-2500 Hz, so it should be possible to have the frequency up around 4000 Hz that would work. It could even be a chip of some sort implanted in the cow (if they were inexpensive enough to produce) or maybe a collar that one or two of dominant members of  the heard would wear. Doesn't that sound like a good idea? Wolves would find other things to eat, and ranchers would be happy.
Or maybe the better way to go (in terms of expense) would be to tag the wolves with really low frequency transmitters that would alert the cows but not interfere with the wolves. If the cows were warned, and the wolves rarely successful, then maybe they would start hunting their natural prey. What do you think? Or do you have a better idea?