One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days where your sitting at work and get a text from your BF asking if you've seen the remote control for the TV, and you roll your eyes and text back "I'm sure it's there somewhere", and then an hour later when you are looking for your chapstick you realize you lied because there it is sitting in the bottom of your purse next to your day planner?
No?
Oh....neither have I.

Santa's Old Sidekick

 

Santa and Krampus off on Christmas Eve

I was reading one of my new Christmas books the other day called Winter Solstice, and I came upon an interesting and slightly disturbing "fact". I put fact in parentheses because I will be discussing Santa, and while it will be mythological truth, it's not actually true. You know what I mean?

Krampus 

So this interesting fact is that Santa hasn't always been the one to deal with the whole naughty or nice issue. You see back in the day, he only concerned himself with the good kids. It was his job to go around being jolly and rewarding all the good little boys and girls. But what about all the bad kids you might ask? Well, don't worry about them. They got what was coming to them. You see, a log time ago, Santa was one half of a dynamic duo. So who was Santa's partner? Why Krampus! And what does Krampus look like? A monster that looks very much like the devil himself, so frightening that he (literally) scared the hell out of kids. And what was his job? To scare the hell out of kids. Supposedly he would haunt the dreams of bad kids, scare them, possibly kill them (with sickness) and drag them into the pits of Hell. Then (thankfully) someone decided that was a little rough for merely bending the truth, or getting in a tussle with a sibling. So more recently Krampus became the one to put the coal in your stocking instead of treats if you were bad, which I think is quite a substantial improvement over earlier forms of punishment. Besides it made for a smoother transition to Santa punishing naughty children, and Krampus disappearing totally. Can you imagine how confusing Santa Claus would be to little kids if they were unsure whether to expect a Barbie or eternal damnation from him? He would be like an abusive parent. Definitely no good for Christmas.
Isn't that something though? The history of our traditions is so often so different from the way we imagine them! The good versus evil thing is interesting to me too, especially because they weren't enemies, they were partners. And actually it makes more sense than the idea that the modern Santa being mean and not giving a little kid a toy. I mean, hasn't Santa always seemed like a bit of a push over? Well, I guess it's because he's new at the whole judging job.
It's also interesting that the tradition of Krampus is no longer...celebrated (if that's the word for it) except in isolated places in eastern Europe, where a towns person is designated each year to wear a scary costume, and roam the streets rattling chains and scaring little children into being good...for the holidays at least.

Krampus comes for naughty girl.

Maybe the reason he has gone the way of the Dodo, as the saying goes, is because a long time ago kids didn't really get presents, so the threat of bodily harm and eternal fire was the only way to get them to listen. Where nowadays just telling them that Santa wont get them a Wii if they are bad puts the fear of god in them. Not that I'm complaining about him being gone. Krampus is very un-Christmassy, and way to Grinchy for me. So I for one am glad that he has faded from the tradition. But history is history, and the "fact" is that Santa had a partner.

Really Tebow?

This is the first of probably many rants I will have concerning Tim Tebow. And surprisingly  it has nothing to do with the fact that he is a less than mediocre quarterback.
So what has my panties in a ruffle? It's his repeated, obnoxious, and overly religious comments and displays, that in my opinion, have no place in football.
I know what you're thinking. It's his right to "thank his lord and savior Jesus Christ" for the overtime win against the San Diego Chargers. But I have rights too. And it's my right to roll my eyes every time I see his face, call him a tool, and question his religious convictions.
I get that lots of NFL players believe in God. Even our beloved Packers QB Aaron Rodgers gives a little point to God after particularly good plays (which annoys me to no end... I much prefer the "championship belt"). But to thank God for a touchdown is utterly ridiculous. Just assuming for a second that God is real, you are still left with having to decide whether God tunes in to Football Sunday (ironically double booking church), or not. Either way someone looks like an idiot. If God doesn't interfere with pass protection, and play calling, then the devotee is dumb for assuming that God doesn't have better things to do with his omnipotence. If  God does interfere,....well... then I ask you what kind of God uses His powers for influencing the outcome of sporting events? Sounds shady doesn't it?  Like some scheme Zeus would use to trick some pretty cheerleader into sleeping with him.
This week in his interview after the Broncos Chargers game Tebow thanked Jesus repeatedly for the win. And I guess that's OK, if that's what he really believes. But with that comes a few disturbing implications that I think need explanations.
Number one: If God helped Tebow win, then He also let the Chargers loose. Presumably there are many God fearing Christians that play for San Diego. So what does God have against Norv Turner and the Chargers? Does Jesus not like Philip Rivers? Does God not care that Norv Turner will probably get fired after this season because He keeps helping the other teams win?
Second: God also must have had a hand in firing Kyle Orton (who was the starting quarterback this year for Denver)? Why did God fire Orton? What did Orton do to deserve loosing his job to someone less skilled? Did he say he didn't want Jesus as his co-pilot? I thought Jesus was BFF's with everybody?
Third:  Why is God helping Tebow win football games, but allowing innocent children in Somalia slowly starve to death? (And while I'm joking around about the above, I do not consider this to at all be a humorous or laughing matter.) Are God and Jesus just bad at prioritizing, or do they really think Tebow's T-bow is so much more special than hungry, dying babies that they use their unlimited time contriving ways to help him win football games. Is Tebow really so arrogant as to believe that? Is anyone so arrogant as to believe that? If the poor kids and families suffering in sickness and misery had Proverbs 22:9 on their forehead would Jesus help them then? Or better yet, would Tebow?

I'm tired of people being able to spout stupid things without consequence because they say it in the name of religion. So please, Tim, unless you have reasonable answers to any of these questions, spare me the "I thank Jesus" stuff and just play football.

Peppermint Bark

It's that time of year again! I have been waiting all year for Christmas time to arrive, and now its only 25 days away! I already got my tree, and put up my decorations (with the help of my brothers of course). All 10 stockings are crammed on my 2.5' wide fireplace. I just started wrapping presents the day before yesterday, and I already watched the Polar Express for the first time this year!

In addition to my normal decorating, I was inspired by The Ice Age Christmas Special (which was awesome and aired last Thursday night) to add "peppermint bark" trees to my otherwise adequately festive decor. Mom helped me paint them on my sliding glass door on Saturday, and they turned out great. So my place is more Christmassy than ever!
The next couple weeks should be busy, but I'll try to keep you all posted on the festivities!

DogSkiSoccer Boarding

Geez, it's been a while I know. But I've just been so busy! Things should be settling down a bit, and I should be able to get back to writing. Anyway, I had a dream two nights ago that I thought was worth describing. I'm not the kind of person who reads much into dreams and I'm glad, because this one would have me very confused as to a meaning.
In my sleep, I invented a game (well, in my dream I didn't invent it, I just knew how to play it) that is a combination of snowboarding, water skiing, soccer and dog sledding! And let me tell you, it was so FUN! I know because I played it!
In the dream we weren't playing on snow, but wet grass and the field was circular with one opening.
There were 4 or 5 of us, and we each had a snowboard-like thing where one foot was sort of hooked in, and the other was free. Then we each had a water ski rope attached to one dog.
The dogs pulled us around (and we trailed behind like a person water skis behind a boat) and we competed to kick the soccer ball through the opening with our free foot, while not getting tangled in anyone elses rope, or letting anyone else kick it through.
Isn't that....well, just about the silliest thing you ever heard of a person dreaming? I thought it was pretty funny that I invented a game in my sleep! It's even funnier to think that if I tried right now, I could never think of as cool a game as that in a million years. So...anybody want to play?