We are our Synapses

One of the many books I have read lately is Synaptic Self by Joseph LeDoux. It's one of the most interesting books I've ever read about the subject of who we are. For those of us who don't believe in things like souls or spirits, the questions surrounding who we are have been difficult to answer. Of course the solution lies somewhere within the mushy folds of the brain, but where and how does it all come together to make me feel like myself?
Well, this book answers that question. And in my opinion the author does it clearly and methodically. It was simply a fascinating read. He begins simply, and sort of teaches you as you go about the different functions of brain regions, the interaction of chemicals and the processes that influence them. He interweaves the history of neuroscience with our modern understanding of how the brain works. His discussion on depression and anxiety were really interesting, as well as his explanations of how medications are taken up and used by the body.
It took me forever to read (on and off for a couple months), but I never lost interest, and I enjoyed it every step of the way. It was definitely not an easy read. In fact thinking back on it, it was more like the summary of a textbook and less like pop-science.

Stem cell neurons.

It is truly amazing how brains work. It seems nothing short of a miracle, yet it is made up of normal things, it functions using the laws and relationships that nature has provided everything else, and it was created by a universe that can't even know itself like the thing it created. Truly one of the most awesome things I have ever thought about. And to think I have a whole brain (at least I think it's a whole one), right up in my head, to keep all for myself, and use for all of my life! Sweet.

I recommend this book to anyone interested in a biological understanding of who we are. 5 out of 5 stars on this one.

Trading T.V. for Bird Song

Sunrise, Mono Lake, 2009

I am in love with the morning.

I find myself laying in the dark and smiling when I know I've woken up before the birds have begun their day. I lay there and anticipate the first song that will shatter the nighttime silence. I wonder will it be the crow with it's raspy caw? Or the brisk "cheep cheep" of the little brown bird that I conveniently named Cheep Cheep? Or a more melodic tune by one of the hundred other birds that nest in the trees around my house?

Since I am in no rush to dash away to work, I have time to lay in bed and think about what I'd like to do. Usually I put the coffee on and crawl back into bed and just enjoy being awake but not having to get up. It feels extra luxurious on the weekdays. But sometimes if it's foggy out, or the sky is pretty colors I'll stand at the kitchen window and watch the transition from night to day while the coffee brews. Other days I will curl up with a blanket on my "reading island" (i.e. my overstuffed chair and ottoman) by the fireplace and read a chapter of something while enjoying my coffee. And yet on other days I am up making lists and organizing my day, folding laundry, or trying to (quietly) wash dishes. There are so many wonderful options!
Often times the weather helps me decide. Rain is definitely reading island weather, fog lends itself to quiet contemplation while staring out the window and sipping coffee, sunshine can go a couple ways, either laying in bed listening to birds (the lazy way), or getting a jump start on the day (the less lazy way).

Some people wouldn't be willing to trade their evenings for early mornings, and I'll admit is a pain in the butt to adjust the ol' "internal clock". But for me there's no contest. Absolutely none. At night I mostly watch TV, or some other equally unproductive task as I wind down to bedtime. But my mornings are filled with relaxation, quiet thought, and energetic anticipation. And all before work!

I've never been a sunrise kind of girl, but I am now. And I love it.

Haiku

I find that as I get older, I don't surprise myself as much as I used to. When I was younger, I was always coming upon some new thing or activity that I didn't know about before, and it was often surprising what things I actually enjoyed versus the things I didn't. I'm not saying it doesn't happen at all now, I mean who would have thought I would actually love kickboxing so much right? All I'm trying to say is that it happened much less frequently now. I feel like I've tried most things out, encountered most everything. Of course that isn't true technically, since there are millions of things to do and see, but in my little corner of the world and based on the other restrictions in my life (like having a job, and financial responsibilities), I feel I've sort of exhausted the novelty of everything. But then last week something strange happened.
I have been trying to go to bed earlier and get up earlier because I find that I am more productive in the morning than I am at night. Anyway it's been a challenge, but I think I'm finally getting there. And for some reason (I guess the reason being that I am not jumping out of bed at the last minute, and racing off to work) I have begun to notice things about the morning that I'm not sure I ever have outside of camping. And...(this is the weird part) I have begun composing haiku in the hazy time between dreaming and when my consciousness is first stirred. This is not on purpose. Meaning that I'm not trying to compose poetry (I don't even know how, nor do I read it!) But last Monday I had written my first haiku since second grade, and all before I was fully awake! To be honest, I might have still been dreaming. Isn't that the strangest thing though? I've gone 33 years without any real interest in poetry, and suddenly I'm writing it, and really enjoying it! Who would have thought? I've done two others since then it the same sleepy way. I think of them best before I am too awake. Once I'm up with a cup of coffee in my hand it's hopeless.
I don't know if they are any good (probably not), nor will I post them here (I have always had a fear about writing poetry and having others read it for some odd reason), but I just wanted to comment on how utterly surprised I am by this new facet of my life. Early mornings and Haiku...will wonders never cease?