Caribou

I've been busy this past week. Occupied to the brim at work, but also with contemplations about various things that I have read, or learned about on TV. (I've recently discovered that I can watch Netfix on my iPhone while at the gym!) And, for those of you who don't know it already, I am officially on vacation for the next week!
I recently read a book called Midnight Wilderness  by Debbie Miller, in anticipation of my littlest brother moving to the Arctic. I thought it would be neat to learn a little something about the place that Jay is going to call home for the next few months. Simultaneously I have been watching a 6 part documentary series on the history of India. And the culmination of all of this input has led me to this realization: If I believed in Hinduism, the last thing I'd want to be reincarnated as is a caribou. And after I explain why, you'll feel the same way I am sure. (Note: No not continue reading if you are eating...this will seriously gross you out.)
Caribou are actually North American reindeer. And in general I have an affinity toward reindeer because a.) they propel Santa's sleigh, and b.) their fur make the best mittens and sleeping bags on the planet.
But I recently learned something about the less romantic aspects of Caribou life. And by less romantic I mean super gross, and quite traumatic from human standards.
OK, but before I get all gnarly on you, I'd like to point out a couple neat things about caribou (this is all from the above mentioned book by the way). Caribou have specially designed wide and flat hooves that help them maneuver through the snow. They have nature made snow shoes. They also have hollow hair (like polar bears!) which simultaneously makes them more buoyant while traversing swollen springtime arctic streams, and aid in minimizing heat loss during the cold of winter.
But moving onto the part that horrifies me. The arctic is one of those few places left on earth were nature is sovereign. And so we immediately think of silver foxes, handsome caribou, thousands of migrating birds, or the afore mentioned majestic polar bears. But what we neglect to acknowledge are the BILLIONS of insects that flood the tundra every spring in an evolutionary race to procreate.
We've all seen documentaries of the millions of birds, totaling to hundreds of species, that make the incredible journey to the arctic in spring to nest and lay their young. And if you are at all like me, you just assumed it was a random thing that birds do, for no specific reason. Well, it turns out it's not random. The entire reason that birds fly thousands of miles to lay eggs is specifically because of the disgustingly huge amount of insects that are available and ready for consumption. And that's great...for birds. But we're talking about caribou right?
All of the pests that are so delicious to birds have to find a way to survive the winter. I'm sure it's pretty sweet to be a fly when the weather is above freezing, but how can you survive as a fly when the temperature dips to 40 below zero?
Uggg. Well, caribou are the answer. As wrong as it seems to us to subject an innocent mammal, that already has a rough go of life in sub zero temperatures to another hardship, that is the answer.
Those tasty warble flies (that sustain many bird species) lay their eggs in the soft fur on the belly of a caribous stomach in the warm months of the year. Then as the larva grow, they burrow and penetrate the skin of the caribou. Eventually they make their way under the skin into the intestines and make their way to the back of the animal. It's the area that gets the most warmth, but it's still protected by the warm hollow hair. The larva stay there, all fall, all winter, munching away at the walls of their foster home, waiting for spring time. By the time the snow has melted each larval individual is maybe a half inch in length. And they are by no means alone. When the weather truly changes, hundreds, or thousands of squiggly disgusting wormy larvae cut their way through the skin of their host caribou to breathe fresh air for the first time, and to begin the process anew. To begin another hijacking of a new caribou.
And as horrible as that sounds, there is still more in store for our friendly caribou, minding it's own business, just trying to survive in one of the harshest environments on the planet.
We haven't mentioned the Botflies. Shoot. If you thought warble flies were bad...botflies lay their eggs and grow in the nasal passages and lungs of caribou! Caribou are often heard coughing and sneezing.Apparently it's not dust they are trying to get rid of. It's botfly eggs and larva. Uggg.....
So there you have it (and consequently the reason why I would not want to be reincarnated as a caribou, or reindeer ...or whatever!).

Sometimes I get bent out of shape because I have to wait in line at the grocery store, or pay an extra 7 cents a gallon for gas. But that, and every other complaint I can think of, seems so ridiculous when I think about what a caribou has to live through.