Do you ever find yourself stuck on a question you keep asking yourself, but can't ever find an answer to? That happens to me a lot. One that has been bugging me on and off for years is the idea of "living each day like it is your last". This has always made sense to me. I feel strongly that not a moment of our lives should be wasted, and if we want to do something we should just do it. But the fact of the matter is, it doesn't work. It only works if it actually is your last day to live. If you have another several thousand days ahead of you, the idea falls apart. If I had one day to live, I would sure as hell not spend it sitting here at work writing this blog. But if I up and leave and do what I really want to without worrying about tomorrow then I might find myself next month or next year living in a cardboard box. So should I stay and work (when I'd rather be taking my trip to New England), or do I go, and loose my job? I think about what is important to me. And you know what? Work, and paying bills are not on the top of that list. But I still have to do them right?
Is it possible to live a normal length life the way you would if you knew you were about to die? I don't think so, but I just feel like it should be possible. I want every moment and every thought, and everything to matter, because (at least I believe) this is my one shot at it all. But I find that when I think that way, my life becomes very frustrating to me. The saying is "carpe diem, seize the day!" But can you really do that if you have to worry about tomorrow too?
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