Would Big Foot Make a Good Linebacker?

Would Big Foot make a good football player? I'd like to take credit for this awesome question, but alas I cannot. It was my brother who proposed it, and I think he meant it as a joke. At any rate I am sure he wasn't expecting me to take it seriously (well as serious as you can take any question involving Big Foot). But after some digging around on the Internet, here is what I came up with.

Most people claim that Big Foot is around ten feet tall, and one website indicates that witnesses have seen a BF pick up a bucket of rocks weighing 250 lb. It isn't clear why he (or she) wanted a bucket of rocks, and my guess would be that the bucket and not the rock was the prize, but I digress. Based on this information it seems likely in theory that BF would rule the football field in athletic prowess. But the same site claims that they rarely (if ever) leave the shade of the forest and allow themselves to be exposed in wide open.(That's why there are no Big Foots in Arizona or Iowa.) Extrapolate to football and their height would be an obvious advantage in blocking passes (and possibly in throwing them), and they'd be great on a special teams squad to bat down field goal attempts, but their fear of being out in the open might trump their height advantage on the traditional treeless football field. It's hard to say for sure, but I don't think Biggie is destined for the NFL.
There are several other reasons why I don't believe Big Foot could play football though. Most "researchers" think that BF is one of our cousin primates like gorillas, although one site claimed that BF might be a retro-evolved Neanderthal. (That means it might be able to break a nut open with a rock, but it probably couldn't work the Gatoraide cooler on the sidelines). It is possible that the Neanderthal might possess the brain power to play a simple game (like run from the sabertooth tiger) but it is much too optimistic to think they could remember what "52-34-19-Omaha-right flat-on three" meant.
The above linked website also says that the brain of Big Foot is small for the size of it's body, and that's never good news. While it's true the most football players look like their heads are also too small for their bodies, this is only an illusion. Their heads are the right size it's their necks that are too big. Buy anyway, it appears that BF does not have space in it's hairy head to house the rules and strategy required of a football player. It's literally too dumb. But even if he was smart, there would still be problems.
Another roadblock to BF playing ball is that most "witnesses" indicate that they smell terrible, (like rotten rhinoceros intestines covered in drunk person throw up, jock strap sweat, burnt hair and garnished with a dollop of dog diarrhea ) and thus induces involuntary vomiting by all humans within smelling distance. So that would also potentially be a problem for the BF's human teammates, as well as the fans sitting in the first several rows which could result in a decrease revenue for teams, and (in Green Bay) the retiring of the infamous Lambeau Leap. This could possibly be circumvented with sponsorship by Old Spice plus shaving/ and or waxing BF from head to toe, although I don't know what the upkeep would be on something like that. And I definitely wouldn't want to be within 100 yards of Bigfoot when he is getting his ass waxed. It would probably be a full time job and require an extra (very brave) staff member as well.
Another problem is that BF eats a LOT. A normal BF requires about 5,000 calories a day, but a buff-tastic football playing BF would probably require about 10,000. If you combine the amount of time (and skill) required to hunt squirrels, small foxes, rabbits, moles, chipmunks, birds and the occasional skunk (which are BF's favorite foods) and the time it would take BF to consume ten thousand calories of them daily, plus the time for the above waxing and add to it the cost of shotgun shells, plus vitamins and supplements, it's just not economical.
The final problem would be what to do with BF's supposed 4"x 3' long logs of feces, that it might not be able to hold until an appropriate time. Shocked?!? Oh yes, I was too. The length and diameter of BF excrement has apparently been "documented", and for once I thank god the website didn't have photos. Not only would it be a plumbing disaster in the locker room, it could also be a tripping hazard should he have an accident (which gorillas and orangutans often do) on the field. The only solution I can think of is a zamboni-like pooper-scooper, and a portable incinerator, but that would just be silly, not to mention a turn-off for fans as a precursor to all those Budweiser and Chili's commercials they play on TV. 
So the (long) short answer to the question of whether or not Big Foot would make a good football player? No, he would not.

Interesting Big Foot "facts" (taken from above website)

• It would be ideal for a human observer, in an unanticipated encounter, not to stare at the animal, but to sit on the ground, scratch him or herself, "groom" a companion, or "eat" anything within reach in order to convey as benign an impression as possible. In one instance, in which this behavior was followed, the sasquatch tarried long enough to be "talked" to.

• Their feces are sausage-shaped, up to 4" inches in diameter and up to three feet long, forming a folded heap. They are replete with numerous intestinal parasites, including hook worms, as well as small bones, hair of prey and ample vegetal matter. A sasquatch has been observed to wipe itself with its hand and lick its fingers briefly, a decidedly simian gesture.

• the nutritional needs of an average sasquatch can be calculated to amount to about 5,000 calories per day.