Birthday Thoughts

This birthday present was given to me on our camping trip.
 It is wrapped in a Smart Wool hiking sock (that I did not get to keep)
and decorated with a stick and a pine cone to make it
more festive;) 

Another birthday has come and gone for me. Yesterday marked the 33rd time I "officially" became another year older.
I can't say that I am enthusiastic about aging, and there are certainly times when I feel sort of terrified by the fact that I can't stop it, but I think for the most part I have accepted it as part of life. Like the saying "it's not a party if it happens every night"  maybe life would not really feel worth living if it went on forever.....(I don't really agree with that, but maybe it's true;) Anyway now, suddenly, abruptly, in the blink of an I here I am...thirty-three years old. I feel weird writing that, and I feel even more weird knowing that it's true! I still feel...younger. Of course it's all mental, since EVERY DAY I get older, but...well, we all have birthdays so I am sure you know what I mean.
But still I go through a whole "process" every year, as I have since I was 18 years old. It's my way of...I don't know what...putting my life in perspective, and acknowledging my own mortality I guess, and what life is all about to me. It goes through four steps (more or less). I will attempt to go through them with you as they occur in real life;) Here we go!

MOURNING:
Ha ha, what a way to start the festivities hu? Unlike many young people I was actually quite happy to be 18 when I was 18, and 19 when I was 19 and so on. While I was in a rush to do a lot of things, I was never in a rush to "grow up". In fact for the most part I have always felt a little more like a kid at heart. So I feel a little sad when my birthday comes around because I am forced to give up a  (in a way) the person I have been over the past year (Old Me), in favor of a New Me that I will become this year.
When I was younger and slightly more dramatic I'd imagine it like the 18 year Old Me was dying and I had to say goodbye. That turned out to be pretty depressing, so I try not to be as much of a drama queen about it these days;) Ha ha...
And so usually the first stage in my birthday ritual, is to feel kind of sad to have to say goodbye the (in this case) 32 year old me. I think about all the great things I experienced, and the year as a whole, and the people and thoughts that shaped it. I think about how much I will miss certain things, even though it's silly and  my birthday is only one more day really in the string of my life. It's usually the couple days before my birthday when this happens. When I have not yet turned another year older, and I still have a couple days left to feel like life is fleeting and I am helpless against time...What? I said I was only slightly less dramatic now;)

ANTICIPATION:
After I am done saying goodbye to Old Me, I then take time to wonder about the New Me. Who will I become this year? What experiences will I have, what would I like to achieve? What lessons did I learn from Old Me that can I utilize to improve my life? What positive changes do I want to make? How will I make them? This is a pretty refreshing feeling, like spring cleaning, and usually happens the day or so before my birthday. I feel optimistic and motivated to do and be better. In this light my birthday feels like a fresh start. If there is something I didn't like about myself, or my life last year, then I can change it. I can be whoever I want to be, and I I feel sort of invigorated to do it. I am no longer at the end of 32, but before the very beginning of 33! It's like the day or so before a big trip when you are excited and preparing and you still have the whole adventure in front of you. I find it empowering to take the time to look ahead purposefully and think about who I want to be, and set goals to achieve it. (This is also when I admit to myself that my perspective of "a year gone by" is over dramatic, and really it's every day that goes by, and so in truth I am still pretty much the same person I've been for the last 12 months: not too grown up, enjoying life, and still not sold on a five day work week;) Wheeew! All the important stuff has remained intact! Sweet.)

CELEBRATION:
The last few years I have made specific plans for my birthday (usually hiking in the mountains) and I find that this is AWESOME! (I absolutely recommend it.) I actually look forward to my birthday then, because it's a day when I get to do whatever I want and it's all about ME! And I usually pick something that no one would do with me otherwise, because I'm sneaky like that;) Like go on a god-awful hike up a mountain, or sleep on a pile of pine cones in the middle of the woods!  It's my first day being New Me, and my birthday plans are my first chance to take action, and step out with the right foot forward. It's a time for celebration!
Plus I am the center of attention, and people call or write to wish me a happy birthday, so how could I not enjoy that? I am out somewhere doing something I really want to, with my friends/family around me. And I get cards, and flowers and little suprises all over the place! I get taken out to dinner or coffee, or treated for dessert or a beer (or both!). People tell me how much they love me. It's great. I really focus on enjoying myself (ha ha I know it sounds selfish, but in truth, it is really quite satisfying, and I think everyone should do it!) and the attention, and getting to do exactly what I want even if no one else feels like it! It's just fun being the "special one". Unlike Christmas, where everyone get's presents, on my birthday they all go to me! Hip Hip horray!
Speaking of the holiday it is also a fitting coincidence that my birthday is exactly half way till Christmas! That makes me very happy. So I celebrate that too;) Six months till Christmas!!!! YAAAAY!

APPRECIATION
Finally, and this is usually happens right before I go to bed after my birthday, or maybe even in the couple days following, but I feel an overwhelming appreciation for...well, everything. For the Old Me, for the New Me, for the fact that I even have a life at all. For the fact that I have survived 33 years on planet earth, that I have so many wonderful friends and family, who say so many nice things about me in their cards and emails, that I got so many wonderful presents...Ha ha!
But seriously, I just feel really lucky to be me, to have lived the life I have, and to have the rest of my life (however long it is) to look forward to. I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect on my past, enjoy my present (and the presents!), and prepare for my future. I think to myself maybe getting another year older is a price I'll always be willing to pay for the life I've lived and person I am.

And then my birthday is over...until next year;)

Trees: Portrait

Here are a couple more tree photo's I took in Yosemite!

The Trees Knees

One of the things I've observed on my travels into the wilderness is that I notice things I don't normally. One of the main things that I always am amazed by are the trees. I know I have them around my house, and they are pretty much everywhere I go, but for some reason I feel that in the city I don't see trees really.
But that is not in the wilderness. Perhaps it's because they are the only thing to look at besides rocks, but I notice them more, the different varieties, the subtle differences in the shape of leaves and needles, the texture of bark, the million colors that fall somewhere on the color wheel between red and brown.
Even dead they are magnificent, like fallen Titans. Their colors and insides are a patchwork of shapes, and patterns. Their twisted and gnarled roots are more graceful and artistic than some of the best sculptures I 've ever seen. You don't know how many tree stumps I wished I could pick up and carry home with me! They were just so beautiful.
Here are a few of my attempts to capture the artistry that nature so nonchalantly scatters about the high Sierra!

May Lake

One of the hikes I did in Yosemite was the one that goes up to May Lake and then continues on to Mount Hoffman. I just did the portion to the lake, since I've climbed Mount Hoffman before. Most people know Yosemite for Yosemite Valley, Half Dome and the waterfall. But my. But my favorite part of the park is the high country along Highway 120. It's a little more wild feeling and remote. There is a little more severity to the landscape, and perhaps even a little more danger. But it's beautiful and breathtaking and the vistas are world class. Here are a few photos from my hike in the high country, including the goelogically "famous" May Lake Pendant!

Pond at trailhead

A Mighty Fallen

Cathedral Peak

Mt. Hoffman and May Lake

Geology at May Lake

The "infamous" May Lake Pendant

High Country

Mount Hoffman

For those interested in the geology: The Sierra Nevada Mountains are all a part of what is called the Tuolumne Intrusive Suite. Basically it is a giant magma chamber (batholith) that used to be under California that has now been brought up to the surface and cooled. The May Lake pendant is a little remnant of the rock that existed above the magma chamber when it was still underground. It has been lifted up along with the batholith and is now perched along side of May Lake, for hikers and geologists to enjoy;)

Star Trails: Yosemite NP

For my birthday I decided I wanted to spend the weekend camping in Yosemite National Park. It's what I did last year, and I find that communing with nature, drinking beer and smelling like a campfire are just the things to ease the sting of becoming another year older. 

This year specifically I was looking forward to trying my hand at photographing star trails. They are basically just photos where you leave the shutter open for a really long time, so the stars produce "trails" as they move across the sky. (Well, actually it's us that are moving, but you get what I mean.)It's hard to do in the city because the ambient light gets in the way, but nighttime in high Sierra is perfect!

 It took quite a bit of preparation to get everything ready. I had to buy a special clicker that plugs into my camera and allows me to snap photo's without touching the actual camera and shaking it. I had to do quite a bit of research on line about the settings for my specific camera, and I had to stay up late to actually take the photos. Finally, and this was the most trying of all, I had to be PATIENT, while I waited to see if all my effort worked! I took a total of 6 photos,but only two came out. Two didn't work because I was too impatient. One was because I didn't have the right setting, and one was because some other campers walked right in front of my camera while I was in the middle of a photograph and their flashlight washed the whole thing out. But I am so pleased with the couple I got that I don't really mind the rest. And maybe that's how photographing star trails goes? Anyway, here they are!

(The light on the trees is from all the camp fires that were scattered all around.)

Around Town

Los Gatos, CA

I don't think I've ever mentioned the town I live in. It's quaint, and charming, and fits every criteria you can come up with for the quintessential  All-American town. In fact in may actually BE the most perfect small town in America! Let me tell you why!
We have white picket fences, and cute boutique shops. We have a bustling main street, and an actual Main Street. We have a Sunday market, and an annual art fair. We have burger joints and dive bars. We have wine bars and Michelin star restaurants. We offer Mexican, Chinese, Greek, Thai, Italian,  Japanese, Indian, and good ol' American cuisine. We have coffee shops and bagel shops and a real French chocolaterie. We have foot races, bike races, and an all-you-can-eat lobster event hosted by the Rotary Club.
We have jazz concerts in the summer with picnicking and wine in the park. We have 4th of July festivities including a sing along and barbecue by the library. We have wine walks where folks can sample local wines, and garden walks where residents with a green thumb can show off their gardens! And of course there is a fountain in the park that children play in every day of the summer.
In the fall we have beautiful tree shaded neighborhoods covered in leaves, the Tait Ave. Halloween extravaganza, the glass pumpkin sale at the high school, and we even have doggie-Halloween!
In December we have the Christmas parade (the largest children's parade in the United States!), the tree lighting complete with caroling, hot chocolate and a visit from Santa! We have horse and carriage rides through the old neighborhoods...I tell you, it's almost magical to walk down main street in the misty rain, a few nights before Christmas and see a horse and carriage go clomping by with a family of Christmas carolers on board!
Yes, Los Gatos is all these things and more still. It might seem hard to believe, but it really is just about as perfect as the most perfect town you have ever imagined. And I get to live here! It's MINE!
Here are a couple photo's I took while walking around and enjoying it yesterday! See for yourself!

The New Library!

Italian Bistro

Main Street

Boutique Storefront

Happy 1st Day of Summer!

Summer and flowers are officially in full bloom!

Barbecue Grill, How I Love Thee!

And all the delicious things you help me create!

Grilled Chicken

Grilled Broccoli and Zucchini

Grilled Nopales and Sweet Onions

Grilled Mexican Style Chicken

(Actually to be fair I don't do most of the grilling. My better half does;) And he is SO good at it! Yummm!

All In My Yard

Decorations

Fireworks

Baby Snail Makers

Neighbor

Chaos Theory and Free Will

I go through theses cycles where I can't sleep. It's sort of a new thing for me and one that I find pretty annoying. But anyway, last night while I was laying in bed, half awake I got to thinking about free will again. Remember how Stephen Hawking likened our brains to weather? And remember when I was learning about chaos theory and how weather was used by Ed Lorenze as an example of a chaos, and how when graphed it plotted onto that funny butterfly shaped strange attractor? Well, I got to wondering if there was some way to quantify free will? And if that was possible, then would we see that it plots, just like weather does, onto an attractor? And how would that change our views on life? Or would it?
I guess you, like my BF, may be wondering what's the point of all of these questions. Like he said, if it doen't keep him young or make him rich, why bother? But I think it would be a pretty big deal if it could be proved that free will isn't "free". If it obeys the same rules and behaves exactly how other known chaotic systems work and behave, and can be predicted using chaos theory then I'd argue that it's not as free as we all think. If free will can be demonstrated (mathematically and experimentally) to function in essentially the same way as every other complex system, then I think that would be of great interest to us all....more philosophically than practically probably. After all, we can only understand our lives through our own personal understanding. We can only know our minds using our minds. So it practice whether or not there is actually free will is almost...irrelevant. (That's good news to me, since just like everyone else I like feeling like I have choices;)) And  I don't think I'd feel any different about what we call our "free will" in a practical sense if it turned out not to be as "free" as I think. I mean, I'd still feel like I am doing whatever I want so beyond that why would I really care?
But in a philosophical sense, I think it would really be quite profound...and to me personally it would be...comforting I think. I mean, I already know my body is a machine and I think that's pretty sweet, but to understand my choices as an "system" that obeys the laws of nature and exists in accordance with everything else I understand about the universe (instead of something unexplained and seperate) would be kind of a cool....I think. To see my lifetime of choices plot neatly onto one of chaos theory's "strange attractors" would be pretty spectacular...I think. If it turns out to be the truth I suppose I'll have to accept it no matter how I feel about it. But it's fun to ponder. I''m curious to know what other people might think about this.
Any thoughts? How would you feel if free will turned out not to be as free as you thought?

Happy Summer Solstice

Scientific Diagram depicting the orientation of the earth to Sun
during the Summer and Winter Solstice. (Not to scale;)

Today is officially the "longest" day of the year. Actually to be more accurate it's the longest daylight of the year, but whatever right? It's pretty amazing either way. I sometimes wonder how much more productive I would be over the course of my life if it was light everyday till 9:00 pm!  But how does this event come about? What are the "nuts and bolts" of the solstices?
Well, as we all know the earth is tilted a little as it spins on it's axis. This results in the Northern Hemisphere being tilted toward the Sun in the summer, and away from the Sun in the winter which is the whole basis for why we have seasons. (This also explains why the seasons are reversed in the Southern Hemisphere).
So the solstice is the day in which the sun is the farthest "north" relative to the earth. Or maybe you could say it's the day when the northern end of the axis is pointed most directly at the Sun.
For more information please refer to the highly scientific attached diagram that I drew.
Another interesting thing to think about on this glorious day of sunshine is that it is the Winter Solstice in Antarctica right now, and there are hundreds of thousands of penguins huddling together in the cold and dark, trying to keep their eggs safe and warm until the Sun returns and brings spring with it. And I hope they are doing OK. It's not easy being a penguin.If you have never seen the movie March of the Pengiuns I absolutely recommend it. I think I will watch it tonight. It might seem odd,  to end the longest day of the year with thoughts about the shortest but I think it is a great way to really enjoy both, appreciate the cycle of the seasons (and the fact that we have seasons at all!) and "tune in" to the beat of our awesome planet! But whatever you decide to do, I hope it's pleasant and filled with sunshine!
Happy Summer Solstice everyone!!!

X Chromosomes

Most of the time when I go to the library I am looking for a specific book. But once in a while I like to just peruse the shelves and see what catches my eye. I found a book all about the X chromosome in this way. It is called The X in Sex. I spent an hour or so reading it by the pool yesterday and it's pretty interesting stuff. As most of us know XX makes a girl and XY makes a boy. But the how of that is slightly more complicated...and it turns out its quite different (and pretty complicated)  for the two sexes. And they why of why we have two sexes (and not three or one) is also pretty interesting too.
Unlike the story of Adam and Eve, the human body is actually by default a woman. (It should have been Adam formed from Eve's rib and not the other way around.) That is, the body was designed to be a woman's, but with the substitution of the second X for Y it can be modified into a man's. The creation of a male is a more active process with genes coding for inhibiting certain processes and the alteration of the existing body plan, where creation of a female is more about just letting what is trying to happen, happen. Of course we are talking about mammals here.
One chapter of the book was on all the other forms of reproduction, some of which are truly bizarre. Some animals can change their sex half way through their lives, in some animals the ambient temperature surrounding the future offspring can determine it's sex, some animals have both sets of sex organs and can impregnate themselves! Aphids don't have males...just mothers and daughters, and in some marine species, males attach to a female body and loose all individuality (eyes, internal organs) and actually become a growth on the female, s a....sperm satchel. See the Angler fish below. (The only thing worse than being a sperm sack, is being a sperm sack attached to an female angler fish...ugggg gnarly.)
Anyway, I'm only half way through the book but it is really interesting. I'll write another post if I find any more noteworthy stuff!

Angler female and male

Graduation

This happened a while ago, but I thought I should post at least one photo. My advisor and I at graduation.

Around the Yard

I spent some time gardening yesterday. I swept, weeded, watered, mulched and even did a little planting. I am experimenting with different plants/flowers in an attempt to find a combination that is snail resistant. I've only been marginally successful. Apparently Petunias are like snail candy...it only took 3 days for the little buggers to eat them right down to nubs...I replaced them with oregano...and I guess I'll wait and see. They also like basil, the snails I mean. Sigh...still, my patio is pretty great. Cool and shady in the midday heat, and sunny during the long summer evenings!